Peace - Romans 14

Once upon a time there was a football team. At the beginning of the game, they stood together in a huddle, heads bowed in prayer and the coach was in the center - praying for his team. Suddenly they gave a great cheer, and the coach trots out onto the field by himself. The players go sit on the bench. Wait, what’s going on? The fans ask, “What’s the coach doing out there?” The players explain, “Oh, he’s going to play today.” What, by himself? The players shrug, “Sure, why not? He’s had a lot more experience and training than the rest of us - We’ve got a lot of rookies on this team, and we might make mistakes. Anyways, they pay the coach well - and we’re all here to cheer and support him, and boy, look at the huge crowd that’s come out to watch him play!” The fans are bewildered, but they sit back to watch the game anyways. The opposing team kicks off, the coach catches the ball. He charges valiantly up the field, but is immediately buried under eleven opposing tacklers. He’s carried off the field half-conscious. [laugh] I know it sounds ridiculous - but for so many of us, this is our model for life, isn’t it? And I need to confess to you all - I am chief of all sinners with this one. I am definitely one of those “I’ll just do it myself” people. But that’s not how the game is supposed to be played.

But the story’s not over. The game continues, this time the whole team is going to play. They break out of the huddle, but instead of lining up against the opposing squad, they immediately break into groups of two or three, arguing with each other. Soon they start shoving, and two of them actually get into a fight. The fans are so confused, “What’s wrong now?” they ask one of the players who walks off the field in disgust. The player’s clearly frustrated and he says, “bunch of malcontents, can’t agree on anything. Those two over there are arguing over the color of the uniforms. A couple of others are quarreling over the right way to kneel in the huddle. Those two are arguing because one believes in a “personal” football, and the other believes in a “social’ football. They can’t agree whether the individual or the team is more important. On the end down there are a few who are upset with the pit band, they don’t like the music they hear between plays. A couple of them are fighting over whether women should be allowed to play, and I’m quitting because I can pass a lot better than that other guy, but they won’t let me be quarterback. [laugh]. I know it sounds ridiculous, but again - is what we see in church really all that different? Especially in West Michigan, we have this consumer mentality when it comes to church. If I don’t get along with those people in that church, well then I’ll just pack up my toys and go to the church down the road. If you go looking for it, there is so much to fight about in the church, or even just in our daily lives. What is it for you? I want to put a word in front of you this morning - and I want you to take a second and I want you to think about the first thing that comes to mind when you hear this word. The word is QUARRELING. When you think of the quarrels in your life - the bickering, the fighting, the frustrations, what is it for you? Is it something at home? With your spouse or your kids? Something with your neighbors? Is it at work? A customer or a boss or even a co-worker that just drives you crazy? It’s different for all of us, but we all have something. A person, a topic, a situation - and it steals our peace. 

Today we are continuing our series called Deep Roots, Good Fruit - and all summer we are diving into the fruit of the Spirit. And I’m so excited for this series because it’s incredibly practical. What you’re going to find every week in this series is that it’s very real world. Last week Brian got us started with Love, and we talked about fear and control, and I was talking to a couple of people during the week and they were reflecting on how much that message helped them in ways I didn’t even think of. If we are going to be people who follow Jesus - we believe that following Jesus transforms our world. When we invite the Holy Spirit to work on us - your behavior is different. When you grow your roots down into the presence of God, our life produces good fruit. And so this week we’re going to get into the fruit of peace. And what we’re going to find is that if you want peace - you have to start with the quarrels. 

If you want to grab your bibles, we are going to be in the book of Romans, chapter 14, and while you’re looking that up - I always like to mention that if you didn’t bring a bible, you are welcome to grab a physical bible off the rack on the back wall or just look it up on your phone. Today I’m using the NLT translation, and that stands for New Living Translation. But before we dive in, let me paint the picture for you just a little bit. Romans is one of Paul’s letters - if you’re not familiar, Paul was this guy who met Jesus and had his life radically transformed, and from that moment on he went around starting churches, and he wrote a lot of letters TO those churches. But he had never been to the church in Rome. This is a letter he is writing to a community he has never met. When people ask me where they should start reading their bible - I always say “start with the story of Jesus” but if you already know the story of Jesus, Romans is a great next step. The whole book is like “an introduction to understanding God: 101” - because Paul is trying to lay a foundation for this group of people before he, hopefully, gets to come and meet them. 

So chapter 14, verse 1 gets us started.  [read it]. Woah, already I have to stop and just marvel at those words. Did you hear what I just read? Accept other believers who are weak in faith. I mean, that is such a radical, mind-blowing shift from what I’ve seen in so many churches. Accept other believers who are weak in faith. Rather than accusing people, or attacking people, or looking down on people - it says accept. There are people, in our midst, who struggle. There are people in this room right now, who are convinced they should not be here. Friends, even people we have known for years, who have a little voice in the back of their head that is telling them, “You’re an imposter. You shouldn’t be here. You don’t deserve to be here. If they knew who you really are, they would reject you.” That’s a real thought people have. In fact, I will be so bold to say that all of us struggle with something, some of us struggle more often and in deeper ways, but all of us have something. But rather than single those people out for attack or condemnation - Paul says, “accept and don’t argue with them.” Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong.” Now I know a lot of people and I wouldn’t say that they have weak faith, but maybe someone has new faith, baby faith, they don’t know much about Jesus to start out - and the teaching is the same. Accept them without arguing with them. When someone is new to the faith, or is making rookie mistakes in living the Christian life - we need to have a team-mate approach. Rather than judging them or keeping them at a distance, Paul starts with “accept”

 Paul says “Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong.” You know, there’s an old line that I love using that says, “On the essentials, we need unity. On non-essentials, we need liberty. And in all things we need charity.” And what that means is that - our faith in Jesus Christ reaches into every single area of our lives. But there are some teachings that we call “essential.” Indisputable. You might call them core doctrines. The easiest one is that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, savior of the world. That’s the core that every Christian has to agree with. In the ancient church, they spelled out stuff like this in the Creeds - like the Nicene Creed or the Apostle’s Creed. These are the core of our faith - if you’re going to call yourself a Christain, you have to agree with these statements. Otherwise you are something else - a non-Christian. On the essentials we need unity. Can’t mess with the core doctrine. BUT, there’s a lot of other teachings out there. What Paul calls “disputable matters.” Areas of life where we can disagree, but still be considered Christians. Out of curiosity, how many of you grew up in a different tradition than the church you go to now? Or maybe you’ve been on vacation and you visited a church that had a different name on the sign out front, and when you went you noticed that maybe they did things a little different than what you expected. For example, some churches argue over the methods of baptism. In our church, we just had a baptism on Easter Sunday, we dunk ‘em! But some churches using sprinkling. They have a little bowl of water, and they just sprinkle water on the head. Can you baptize babies or do they have to be adults? Do you have to use wine for communion? Or is grape juice acceptable? How often should you take communion? What translation of the bible should you use? These are secondary beliefs. They are still important, but we can agree to disagree and still call both groups Christian. You see it in Byron Center. We got a lot of really awesome churches - and I’ve met most of the pastors, we agree on the essentials. BUT, we disagree on some secondary teachings, and that’s why we have Baptists and CRC and that other CRC and Wesleyans and that other CRC. All the different denominations - on the essentials, we need unity, but on the nonessentials we need liberty. We need freedom to disagree and still call one another brothers and sisters in Christ. 

Paul gets into it, in verse 2, [read v.2-3]. So the first big issue Paul talks about it food, and then in verse 5, [read v.5-6] - so the second big issue is the Holy Day. Which day do we take a break and honor God with? Now back in Paul’s day, these were two really big hot button topics. What day do we honor God with and what foods are you allowed to eat. A lot of Jewish people, they were leaving the Jewish faith to follow Jesus, but they still had some of their Jewish customs that they were dealing with - like eating certain foods. And here’s what’s sort of funny - we don’t really argue about that stuff anymore. Our previous pastor, Jon, I think he was a vegan, right? That’s amazing - your current pastor, is not. I’d rather cut off a limb than give up meat. And we read this and we think - that’s so cute, that’s so quaint, that they used to argue about this stuff. We are so much smarter than those dumb early church folks - but here’s what I want you to realize - we are not different than the early church. We pick different topics, but the amount of arguing in our lives is the same. What Paul is giving us is not advice about the specific topics of holy days and dietary restrictions - what Paul is teaching us is how to deal with quarreling - whatever the topic is - how to deal with quarreling, and he’s using a real world examples from his time and place in history. What we fight about will change with every generation, but the solutions to quarreling, the methods of cultivating peace, are eternal. 

Paul says, in verse 6, [read v.6-8]. This is so key - no matter how it breaks down for us personally on disputable matters - it’s between you and God. Being a Christian, wearing that label of Jesus follower in the world - it means that we live FOR something, we die FOR something. We belong to something bigger than ourselves - we belong to God. That’s what’s important. We do what we do in life, for God. We don’t make decisions on right and wrong based on what we want, or what we feel - but on our connection to God and the way he has taught us to live. And then verse 9, [read v.9-10]. Oh! Paul went and turned it around on us. He starts by saying - look on disputable matters, on secondary issues - that’s between you and God, God is the judge, he’s the one you have to answer to. But then in verse 10, he turns it back on us. He asks, “if God is the judge, why’re YOU trying to be the judge? If GOD is the one who holds people accountable, why’re YOU stepping on his toes? Why are you trying to replace God when you judge other people? 

Verse 13, [read v.13]. That might be the most important verse in the whole chapter right there. Let’s stop condemning each other, but decide INSTEAD to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall. Here’s the thing - in America we’ve got this social construct in our culture where we build our very own personal morality that only applies to us. We have tried to individualize or privatize our faith. And I think it can be perfectly summed up in the phrase, “you do you.” Have you heard this? You do you. DOn’t think about other people, just think about whatever works best for you. If that guy over there is struggling with alcoholism, why should that affect me? I don’t have a problem with alcohol, so I should be allowed to drink. That’s how some people approach life - but in verse 13, Paul is making the case that we need to build our morality around our neighbors. Let me stay with the alcohol example. Wesleyans, we have a history of standing with those who struggle with alcohol abuse. We don’t have a teaching that says “alcohol is an inherent evil.” We know Jesus turned water into wine, we know that some people can drink with moderation - BUT because we have brothers and sisters who DO struggle, we stand in solidarity, supporting them when we are together. That’s why we have grape juice when we have communion. There’s nothing wrong with wine, but we’re trying to think of our brothers and sisters who might struggle - first. Paul is saying that loving our neighbor means not just doing what makes sense to us, but including other people in our consideration. This is one of the ways that we create peace. Verse 14, [read v.14-15]. Are you following this? The issue for Paul’s time period was food, and what he’s saying here is “I am convinced that Jesus said I can eat whatever I want, but if my buddy Fred over there is struggling with that - I am not acting in love if I just do whatever I want.” Paul says, “decide to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall.” 

Verse 17, [read v.17-19]. Romans is one of my favorite books in the bible because you don’t really need me to get up here and explain it. It’s so good, I could just stand here and read a chunk and then go, “isn’t that awesome” and then read the next chunk. So good. Let us aim for harmony, and try to build each other up. This the heart of community. Not just doing whatever I think is best for me and my personal walk, but working together to build peace. Our community should be built so that we try to build one another up, learn from each other, push each other to grow, challenge one another to overcome obstacles. We should mutually benefit from the way we live in community. You know there’s another phrase I hear a lot. As many of you know, I have a thousand children and so all the algorithm advertisements and whatnot are all geared towards pressuring me as a parent to be a good parent. And the phrase I hear all the time is “if you want your kids to get ahead [buy our product]”  - parents, have you seen this? We’re always trying to get ahead, we always want them to have a leg up, to stand out, to be ahead of the pack. And I was thinking about all that this past week as I read Paul’s words and I wondered. What if my goal as a parent is not to help my kids “get ahead”? What if teaching children to “get ahead” is the same thing as teaching them to leave everyone else behind? Think about this way - when a kid is really great in school, what do we do? Let’s get them to skip a grade, let’s help them graduate early, get ahead. And then we have these incredible stories of very impressive children who are graduating college at 12 years old. And please hear me, that’s an incredible accomplishment. I don’t want to diminish that. Very impressive. But I’m reading this teaching of Paul, based on the love of Jesus, I can’t help but wonder what if - what if the world doesn’t need more 12 year old college graduates? What if what the world needs is more 12 year olds who turn to their neighbor and help them with their homework? Paul says aim for harmony, and try to build each other up. What if we were more than a collection of musical notes, each trying to be the loudest and the fastest musical note? What if our goal was not to get ahead in the song, but to put the notes together into something beautiful, a harmony? 

What I hope you see in all of this is that if you want to find peace, you have to fight for it. As humans, we do not drift into peace. You’re not going to accidentally stumble into a solution for every quarrel. Our world profits off of our problems, they incentivize our injuries, they want us to wound. Peace is buried under a mountain of a thousand little quarrels in every life - and we have to dig it out. If you want to find peace you have to fight for it. Find it. Create it. Build it - build peace. Matthew chapter 5, in Jesus’ most famous sermon he says, and let’s put that on the screen “God blesses those who WORK for peace, for they will be called the children of God”

If you want to work for peace - we start with Jesus Christ. Back in Romans, hear verse 7 again, [read v.7-9]. The good news is that Jesus gets to be God, and God gets to be the judge - so we can take the day off from judging our neighbors. If Jesus Christ is the lord of our entire life - we live and die for Christ - then everything we do, every moral decision we make can be guided by our relationship with Jesus. Whatever quarrels exist in your life - we do what we do God’s way. You fight for peace by following the way of Jesus. 

Coming out of all of that I have two big challenges for you to take with you this week. First, my first challenge for you - and this one is going to be really hard. Get over yourself. Your morality is not just about what you think is right and wrong, it’s about what’s best for your brother and sister. If we want to fight for peace, if we want to handle our quarrels the way Jesus has taught - this is a call to look at your neighbor, to care about what they are struggling with and to change your life based on what they need from you. The life of Jesus was the greatest example of sacrificial love that ever existed, and so if we want to follow the way of Jesus we need to know our neighbor and walk with them through every struggle. Like Paul said, “Decide to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall.” The point of this chapter is NOT “agree to disagree” or for us to say “you do you” - no, the moral life God calls us to walk is not just about right and wrong in our personal life - it is fundamentally communal. 

First challenge - get over yourself. Second challenge - make the weak among you stronger. Paul said in verse 19, aim for harmony and try to build each other up. There’s a political cartoon I want to show you. For those who can’t see it, I’ll describe it. It’s the entrance to a school and all the kids are waiting outside the steps. There’s a ramp to the left and everything is covered in snow. The handyman is there shoveling the snow and he’s telling the boy in the wheel-chair, “hang on timmy, let me shovel off the steps and then I’ll get to the ramp so you can get it too.” And the little boy in the wheel chair responds, “but if you shovel off the ramp, we can ALL get in.” It’s a mindset shift - to put the needs of our neighbor who struggles first, rather than worrying about what’s best for us personally. Instead of trying to get ahead, we need to lift up those who struggle amongst us. There’s an old phrase, they use it in the military, “you’re only as strong as the weakest link” - and that’s true for churches too. For so long our faith has just been about us. Just me and God and whether I think I’m a good person or not. But Paul is pushing us this morning to see that faith is fundamentally communal. We need to take responsibility for our neighbors. Yes, maybe your prayer life is amazing - but if the person sitting next to you doesn’t know how to talk to God, then you are both missing out. Can I just say, before Easter we had these moments of prayer - where we would put a timer up on the screen and encourage people to pray in little groups of 2 or 3. And one of my favorite parts of that practice was watching an adult go over and kneel down and pray with the kids. Leading them, teaching them - that’s harmony. Maybe you personally volunteer all the time, or you join every bible study we offer - but if the person next to you does not know how to open this book and find the face of God, you both miss out. Church is a team sport - it doesn’t matter how amazing of a player you personally are, if the people around you are struggling. So that’s my challenge for you - in your faith, in your walk with Jesus - make the weak stronger. That’s how you build peace. 

You know this past week I got into a bit of an argument with a stranger on the internet. I do that, from time to time, mostly on twitter and there’s another app called “threads” which is just facebook’s version of twitter. And there was this lady who was yelling at me because I said going to church was important. My point was that in a digital world where so much of our life comes from a screen - we really need a place where we have flesh and blood humans who know us and love us, challenge us and encourage us as we follow Jesus. And she came back and said, “Not in America. The American church is corrupt. It’s just a non-profit corporation with an influencer wanna-be CEO instead of a pastor who actually cares.” And as we talked back and forth I found out she used to work in a church, and she got burned by a toxic community. And to be honest, I think she was making some really good points - the church in America is far from perfect. But everything I tried to say she would throw back in my face. I said, well - real church isn’t about buildings or lights or emotional music. Real church is the people. And she threw it back at me, “that’s just a cliche, a cliche that manipulative pastors use to control others.” And at first I was mad at her for belittling my life’s work - but then as I thought about it, it just made me sad. I know there are churches like the one she described. Corruption exists and it breaks my heart every single time - but her solution to the quarrels of the modern church was to write it off completely. To walk away and wash her hands of the whole thing. And I realized that she didn’t find peace - she just found quiet. And while that probably feels better than the struggles she was facing - running from a quarrel is not the same thing as finding resolution, finding peace. In order to achieve true peace, we have to fight for it. To move through the quarrels the way Jesus taught us. Christianity is a team sport and peace is hard fought, not stumbled into.

In a moment, we’re going to sing our last song, it’s called “It is Well.” And this song is very special to me, because over the years of following Jesus, many, many, many times - I have started this song as a liar. If I am being honest - It is NOT well with my soul. There’s no peace like a river running through MY heart. And it’s a very simple song with a very simple chorus - where we just say it over and over. It is well, with my soul. It is well, with my soul. And when I sing that song I might start out a liar, but as I move through the words, I let the Holy Spirit move through me. I leave the judging to the judge. I reject the “you do you” individualistic mentality, reject the hands off approach to community. I start to fight for peace. I shift my heart towards others and aim for harmony, trying to build each other up. And by the end, it IS well with my soul. So what is it for you? What quarrel is standing in the way of your peace? What stumbling block do you keep tripping over? Who or what is stealing your peace? As we sing this last song - I want to encourage you to hold that quarrel in your heart and let the Holy Spirit of our Lord Jesus work on you and bring out the fruit of peace from your life.