Self Control - 1 Corinthians 9

If you had to choose between a marshmallow and a pretzel - which one would you go for? Salty or sweet - what would you choose? Those are the only two options - what would you go for, where are my marshmallow people? And pretzels? For me, I’m usually more sweet than salty - but I’m not a big marshmallow guy, unless it’s in a smore - then, now we’re talking. We all have our preferences. In 1970,Walter Mischel, a professor of psychology at Standford University, created a test that became known as the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment. Maybe you’ve heard of this, it’s been repeated a bunch of times since the 70’s, it’s a very famous test - but basically, it’s very simple. They took a bunch of preschoolers and offered them a marshmallow. They put it on a plate and put it in front of a preschooler, figure they were roughly 4-5 years old. And they told they kid, “you can eat this marshmallow” OR if you wait until i come back, you’ll get TWO marshmallows. And they did it a bunch of different ways - one of the ways was that they offered a marshmallow OR a pretzel - catch both crowds, and then with some of the kids they left the marshmallow right in front of them, some of them they left it on a plate, but covered it up. Some kids were left all by themselves, some kids were left with toys to distract them. They ran the test a bunch of times with hundreds of kids - all of it to study the effects of delayed gratification. There’s really cute videos of times when they repeated these experiments throughout the years. Some of the kids stare at a mirror, some sit there covering their eyes, or they talk to themselves - watching a kid try not to give into temptation, it’s pretty funny. There was even suggestions, and this is a little hard to measure, but there was a follow up study that said the kids who were better at delaying gratification actually got better SAT scores. There’s a lot of other factors - socio-economic, and they couldn’t find every kid they did the first study on 12 years later - but for the students they found, those are the results they had. The character trait of self-control, the ability to delay gratification, patience in action, set these kids up for success.

But it’s hard! I spent more time probably than I should have this past week watching the videos of the kid’s struggling with self control. It’s so funny and so cute - we’ll post some of those videos on our socials this week. They’re just alone in the room with the marshmallow, and they get all close to it and they’re so sad to be sitting there waiting until finally they give in and chomp on it. There was one with a little girl, and i swear - it was, like, as soon as the lady was out of the room - chomped down on that marshmallow. And we watch these videos of little kids and we think - that is so cute! Look at them struggle, isn’t that just how it is for kids - I am so much better at self control, because I am an adult. [pause]. I wonder… how good are all of you at lying to yourself? I might not be tempted by marshmallows these days, but for all of us there is something you could put on a plate and leave us alone in a room - and we would be helpless. And I’m not talking about food. For some of us - there are things our eyes should not see, things our ears should not hear, time we should not waste and substances we should not put into our bodies - and yet, when our world offers it to us right there on a platter right in front of us, it’s almost irresistible. Self-control - sometimes it’s easy, and sometimes it feels completely impossible.

As many of you know, all summer we have been studying the fruits of the spirit. Galatians chapter 5 tells us [read v.22-23]. And the funny thing about fruit is that fruit is like nature’s candy. They’re full of sugar and delicious flavors. There are some fruit that are the inspiration for candy flavors - like strawberry and blueberry and apple. And that’s the way we feel about most of the fruits on that list. Love, that’s like cherry, that’s my favorite one. Joy - that’s blueberry, that’s super popular. Peace - that’s got to be strawberry, give me some of that with some whipped cream… kindness, goodness, faithfulness - raspberry, watermelon, kiwi - delicious! We want more of them, they taste so good in our lives. But that last one? Self-control? That’s like a tomato. It might technically be a fruit, but I’m going to be real mad if you put it in my fruit salad. Gross. Self-Control - might as well call that a “vegetable of the spirit.” It’s good for you, but I know you’re lying if you tell me it’s delicious. I don’t want to hear it. And I think I know what the problem is. You see, self control doesn’t feel like an end in itself. For the rest of the fruit - love, and joy and peace - I want those things all by themself, they are wonderful goals. Some days I just want more joy in my life. I just want more peace. But what I want to show you today is that with self control, it is not the end, it’s not the goal. Most of us probably don’t sit around thinking, “boy, I just wish I could have a day that is just full of self control.” What we are going to find is that self control is not a destination, it’s the path that gets you there. Self control is the method - it is the basket that delivers all the other fruits to us. To butcher the metaphor even more - self control is not a vegetable, it’s a fruit basket designed to bring you everything else that God has for us in this life. Let’s see what God’s word has for us about this.

Now, if you’d like to grab your bible - we’re going to be in 1 Corinthians, chapter 9, verse 19. And I always encourage people to bring their bibles - in this church we open our bibles pretty much every single week. If you forgot your bible, no stress - you are welcome to grab one off the back wall, and if you don’t own a bible - go ahead and take it home with you today. Of course, the fastest option is to look it up on your phone. But while you’re looking it up - let me tell you a little bit about this part of the bible. First Corinthians is a letter written to a church found in the town of Corinth. Now there’s a lot of cool things that we know about this city of Corinth, but one of the things is that it was the location of the Corinthian Isthmian Games. Imagine if you will, the OG olympic committee. The Isthmian games would take place just outside the city, every couple of years. The athletes would take ten months to train for these games, and the highlights of the games were running and boxing. There were lots of events, like discus throws and javelin and whatnot, but these are the big ones: running and boxing. The athletes had to exercise incredible discipline so that they could show up on race day, or on the day of the fight, and be ready to square off against the other athletes. If they won, they would get a crown, like a wreath made of oak or ivy or spruce. It would sort of look something like this. And all of this is sort of the backdrop for what Paul is saying to the people. Paul is trying to teach this church some important things about how to live the way God teaches us, and it’s sort of like they’ve got the ancient version of the World Cup on in the background.

If we look at verse 19, where it says, [read v.19]. Paul says, “I’m free to do whatever I want, but my goal is to bring people to Jesus. Bringing people to know Jesus - that is my actual goal - and to get to that, I’m going to put some restrictions on myself. [read v.20-21]. You might remember this, because it comes up a bunch of times throughout the bible - but there was a lot of disagreement and church drama in the early church about what foods you are allowed to eat. And Paul says, “look, I know in Jesus Christ, I can eat whatever I want. But I have a higher goal than my eating habits.” More important than eating whatever I want, is bringing people to Jesus. And I am so focused on that goal - I’ll eat whatever they put in front of me. When I hang out with Jewish people, I eat the restricted diet - when I hang out with gentile people, I eat the gentile diet. Now, he clarifies - he says, “I’m not going to ignore the law of God” - but when it comes to eating, he is willing to restrict his life, in order to accomplish his goal. And this kind of shows us the first major teaching I want you to hang onto this morning. Indulgence creates chains, but discipline creates freedom. Paul has a goal, and he is going for it. And he knows he will better accomplish that goal if he puts some discipline in his life. Verse 22, [read v.22-23]. I think Paul really understands that self control is the fruit basket. It might not be a sexy goal in and of itself - but it gets you where you want to go. Indulgence creates chains, it causes obstacles, but discipline creates freedom. Self control opens doors. 

So let me ask you - what is the highest goal in your life? I think a lot of us struggle with self control because we don’t clearly know what we are aiming at. What is it that you want to accomplish with this one wild and precious life you have been given (to quote Mary Oliver)? There’s an old charlie brown cartoon where he’s shooting a bow and arrow at a fence. And after he shoots the arrow, he walks over with a bucket of paint and draws a circle target around the arrow - and I think that’s the way a lot of us approach life. I ask, “what is your goal as a man, what is your goal as a woman of God, as a human being circling the sun on this planet of ours in the year of our lord 2025?” I ask “What are you on this earth for?” and most of you have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about. We live in a culture and a society that has taught us that comfort is the highest goal. Laziness is the goal. I just want to have enough money and enough security so that I can do nothing with my life. I want to do as much nothing as I can in this life. But can I submit to you this morning that God has not created you for nothing. Now there’s nothing wrong with taking a vacation, nothing wrong with getting a little rest - I’m going on vacation tomorrow - but ultimately? The highest goal in your life could be so much more. God created you for so much more. For Paul it is so obvious - his ultimate goal, his entire life’s purpose is to tell people about Jesus. And because he has that goal crystal clear in his mind’s eye - discipline and self control comes easy. I’ll do whatever it takes to hit that mark. So if you are struggling with self control in your life - let me offer to you that your first step is to figure out what is your highest goal? What is your purpose? And if you don’t know - take time this week and ask. God - what do you have for me in this life? What do you want me to do? Who do you want me to be? If you know your purpose, your function, your goal - self control will follow. Self control is the fruit basket that gets you to your goal. 

Paul keeps going in verse 24, [read it]. Run to win. You see, here’s the problem - for a lot of us, we have designed our lives to throw up objections to the idea of self control. We don’t like it. We don’t want it. Now having a crystal clear picture of what your goal in life is - that helps. But sometimes even that’s not enough. I think about the Isthmian Games, taking place just outside the city of Corinth. These athletes train their bodies every single day for months and months to run a quick race and win a little crown made out of leaves. And if that’s the prize, it’s not worth it! You think I’m going to put in the effort every single day, pour my blood, sweat and tears when the result is a wreath made out of weeds - are you crazy? But Paul puts it into perspective, verse 25 [read v.25]. The highest goal in the life of a Christian is to share the love of Jesus with the people around them - and Paul points out, the reward is not a crown made out of leaves, that will just fade in a couple of days. We pursue our purpose for an eternal prize. Think about it this way, there are people in your life, people you know, who will spend eternity in paradise with God - because you had the courage to say, “hey, do you mind if I tell you about Jesus?” Now we don’t save people - obviously, God saves people, but how did they hear about God? Through you. Paul says - don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize. And what I want you to realize that is that there is a race for the souls of the people in your life. Your neighbors, your co-workers, your friends - there is a race for their souls, and the devil is running. He’s want them bad. There is no prize for second place. We put purpose into our lives when we remember what God made us for - and we put resolve and determination into our lives when we remember that it’s not a temporary prize. This is literally life and death. There’s no wreath of weeds in the battle for the souls of God’s people.

All athletes are disciplined in their training, Paul says, and then in verse 26, [read v.26-27a]. I run with purpose in every step. If you don’t know, “shadowboxing” that’s when you’re literally punching air. The greek literally translates to “I fight as one who is not beating the air.” Paul says that’s not what we’re doing here folks - we’re not “punching air” - there is purpose in every step. Discipline, training the body like an athlete, puts purpose in every step. One more little tidbit for you, that word “discipline” in verse 25, in the greek the word is “agonizomenos” which can mean discipline or “striving” but if you write it out in english it looks an awful lot like the AGONIZING. Discipline puts purpose into every step. Self Control is the fruit basket that carries you to your goals - but that doesn’t mean it’s fun. It is necessary to have a good and flourishing life in this world, to run the race and win - but make no mistake, it’s still really hard. 

See what I want you to realize is that discipline creates freedom. It seems a little backwards, but it’s absolutely true. Paul knew it, and we can see it all over our lives. A couple months ago, back when there was still snow and ice around - I was leaving the church after work. It was like a Tuesday afternoon - and it was cold and rainy, but like that icey nasty rain. And I walk out that front door, and I go out to the parking lot, and as I’m walking to my car, I see a little old lady with a walker headed to the assisted living center next door. I’ve seen her before during the week, she’ll walk from the assisted living place, using her walker, all the way down to Family Fare - buy three items in a grocery bag and then walk all the way back. And that day she had her big coat on and she’s shuffling along in the cold and rain. And my heart broke for her - I thought, “I know she’s going right there - maybe I could give her a ride.” Full disclosure, I actually drove past her first - felt guilty, and then went back to pick her up. But I pull the car over next to her, and get out of the car and say, “Can I give you a ride home?” And this little old lady looks right at me and says, “Oh thank you that’s very sweet - but absolutely not. At my age I have to walk, the moment I stop walking is the moment I lose my ability to walk.” Every day, in her life, she had a discipline to walk. If she gave up that discipline, she would lose her freedom - and she knew that. If you don’t use it you’ll lose it becomes real practical life advice when you’re in your 90’s. 

You know there’s another story from DL Moody, famous evangelist, who would hold these revivals. And at one of Moody’s events, there was a man who was an alcoholic - who had recently given his life to Jesus. He had walked away from alcoholism, and was putting his life back together for his family. He was still a baby Christian, sort of figuring out what it meant to follow Jesus - but he got up the microphone at one of the events and he said, “I don’t know whether or not Jesus can turn water into wine, but I know that in my home he has turned whiskey into milk and furniture.” Discipline creates freedom. A member of Alcoholics Anonymous once wrote these words. “We drank for happiness and became unhappy. We drank for sophistication and became obnoxious. We drank for strength and felt weak. We drank to make conversation easier, and ending up slurring our speech. We drank to feel heavenly and ended up feeling like hell. We drank to forget and were forever haunted. We drank for freedom and became slaves. We drank to erase our problems and watched them multiply. We drank to cope with life and invited death.” 

Because you see, the other side of that - indulgence, lack of discipline, actually creates shackles. They TELL you that indulgence IS freedom. We believe that doing whatever we want whenever we want to - that’s true freedom. But the truth is that indulgence creates chains in our lives. The more we lack discipline, the more we eliminate options for our future selves. The more we have discipline, the more options we open up for ourselves. Everything is a trade off. Sure, you can eat whatever you want forever - but the trade off is that your physical health will suffer. You know what it is for me? I love energy drinks and meat lovers pizza. I could literally eat that morning, noon and night for weeks. In fact, one time I did! Sara went on a trip to go visit her sister, and this was years ago before we had kids - so I had like 3 full days completely unsupervised. And let me tell you, I reverted back into a middle school boy with my eating habits. As a 27 year old man, I literally had pizza three meals a day for three days straight. Anybody want to guess what happened to me? I was disgusting. This is absolutely true. I was like a big lazy slug on the couch. I felt terrible, I had no energy, everything felt exhausting. My body was crying out, “please put something green inside me.” I thought indulgence was the path to freedom, but actually it created shackles for me. Thankfully my health conscious wife came back into town and I had to knock it off and eat normal again. You guys, I am going to live so much longer because I’m married to that woman. Discipline leads to freedom. Sure, you can scroll on your phone as much as you want - but the trade off is that you have to give up time with friends and family. Sure, you can spend all your money on yourself, but the trade off is that you can’t love your neighbor through generosity. Discipline creates freedom. Indulgence creates shackles. 

Paul knew this to be true. Now in his context, he’s using the Isthmian games to teach a lesson about how we should be sharing the good news about Jesus Christ with every single person in our lives - but this concept, this fruit of the Spirit we call Self Control - this applies to everything we do. And so my challenge for you today - I want you to chase freedom THROUGH discipline. And you might be thinking to yourself, “sure, Pastor JJ, that sounds nice - but how in the heck am I supposed to do that?” Let’s walk through Paul’s teaching one more time. If you want to find freedom in discipline - first, remember your purpose. Paul was able to stay laser focused, he had incredible self control - because he was focused on his goal in life. If you are struggling with self control - the first step is to figure out what your goal is and keep it right in front of you. Our God in heaven who put every cell of your body together on this earth - he made you with a point and purpose. The first step of self control is to remember that you have a purpose. Second, remember that Paul said we are running for an eternal prize, not some crown made out of flowers. Not only is there a purpose to your life, a goal to shoot for, but that purpose is literally life and death for the people we love. Third and finally - if you’re trying to find freedom through discipline, remember what’s at stake if you don’t have discipline. Indulgence leads to shackles. The world’s version of freedom is a trade off. You think you’re living in freedom, but actually you are just closing doors, cutting yourself off, forging the very chains that will be used to hold you back. Dave Ramsey, the financial guru guy, he tells a story about a single mom who was trying to budget and get her life on track. She had her whole budget balanced, and then one day she had the worst day of her life. She blew a tire which made her late for work, which made her late for daycare pick up - and she didn’t have any money in the budget for McDonalds - but she just needed a break, and so she grabbed a couple of happy meals for the kids on the way home. But because there wasn’t money in the budget for it - she bounced three checks and it ended up costing her a hundred and fifty bucks in late fees and bank fines to get it all sorted out. A moment of indulgence created shackles that took her weeks to unlock. Indulgence creates shackles, but discipline creates freedom.

One of the things I love about this series is that the fruits of the Spirit are just incredibly practical for our daily lives. When we walk closer with God, this is the stuff that shows up in our world - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. God wants us to live lives of purpose and plenty, a life filled with devotion and discipleship - and he knows how to get us there. Self Control may not be the most delicious fruit of the spirit - but if we can master it, it becomes the fruit basket that takes us to all our highest goals. I think about those kids with the marshmallow on the plate in front of them. What’s your marshmallow? What’s your temptation? Your indulgence? Is it social media, video games, or time on screens that is creating shackles in your life? Is it substances - drugs, alcohol or even just unhealthy food? Is it your spending habits or your sexual ethics?  Where did the world promise you freedom, but indulging has only brought you chains? Are you tired of living a life of false freedom? Are you ready to try a new and better way that will actually set you free? Let’s Pray.