Where Am I Going With My Life? (Ecclesiastes 4)

Today I want to start with the story of Angus McGillivray. It’s a phenomenal true story, that comes from a soldier’s account of life in a World War II Japanese prison camp. The book is called Through The Valley Of the Kwai, and the soldier who wrote it was Ernest Gordon. You see, Angus was a Scottish prisoner in one of the prison camps that was filled with Americans, Australians and Britons who had all helped build the famous Bridge of the River Kwai. But the massive prisoner camp was a really brutal place. A dog-eat-dog mentality had set in. Men who were allies, fellow prisoners, would literally steal from each other and cheat each other. Men would sleep on their packs and have them stolen from under their heads. Survival was the most important thing - and so the law of the jungle prevailed. But then everything changed the day Angus McGillivray died. You see, Angus was a big boy - one of the strongest of the prisoners - everyone assumed he would be the last to die. BUT Angus was Scottish, and the Argylls (which is what they called scottish soldiers), the Argylls had a buddy system. Their buddy was called their “mucker” - and they trained and they believed that it was literally up to each of them to make sure their “mucker” survived. But Angus’ mucker, his partner, was dying. Everyone else gave up on him. Survival of the fittest, look out for yourself - it’s the only way to survive in these harsh conditions. But Angus said, “nope - my friend is not going to die.” Someone stole his mucker’s blanket, so Angus gave him his own telling him, “I just came across an extra one.” At mealtime Angus would get his rations and take them to his friend, stand over him and force him to eat it, again saying, “i got some extra food.” Angus was going to do anything and everything to see that his buddy got what he needed to recover. 

But then just as Angus’ mucker began to recover, Angus himself collapsed, slumped over and died. The doctors took a look and realized that he had died of starvation, complicated by exhaustion. He had been giving up his own food and shelter. He had given up everything he had - even his very life. And that story started to ripple through the prison camp. This was a massive prisoner camp - like, just short of 4,000 prisoners. But here’s the best part - as word circulated about the reason for big Angus McGillivray’s death, the feel of the camp began to change. Suddenly, the men began to focus on each other. They started moving beyond survival, working together. They began to pool their talents - one was a violin maker, another an orchestra teacher, another a professor. Now - I read this, didn’t believe it, fact checked it and was still shocked. The prison camp created an orchestra of homemade instruments. They created a church that was called “Church without walls” that was so powerful, so compelling, that even the Japanese guards attended. They began a university, a hospital, a library system. The place was transformed. This is absolutely true, if you want to google it look up Bando and Sumatra prison of war camps. There are museums about this. Men reduced down to “survival of the fittest” had their hearts reignited. When they thought only for themselves, the whole system was falling apart. But when one man, Angus McGillivray, cared about his neighbor more than his own life - everything changed. 

And I LOVE that story. It gets me so pumped up. I’m inspired by it. I feel like it’s unlikely that I’ve been here for two years and haven’t told that story before. I couldn’t remember if I’d already shared it - but if you’ve heard it before, you’re welcome! You got to hear it again. It’s a great story. Inspiring stuff. But here’s the problem - we…I… I don’t live in a Japanese prison of War Camp in World War II. So many of these incredible stories come out of extraordinary circumstances - so what am I supposed to do with that in my very vanilla, West Michigan comfortable life as a middle class father of five? What’s the analogue? How can WE live a life as inspiring as Angus McGillivray in Byron Center, 2026? And that’s the question I want to poke at this morning - Where are you going with YOUR life? 

If you’ve been hanging out with us the last couple of weeks, you probably already know that we are in the middle of a series on the book of Ecclesiastes. And it’s funny because the author of Ecclesiastes, we call him the teacher, asks that exact question of himself - it’s sort of why he wrote the book. He’s lived an incredibly successful life, by any metric you want to come up with - he has done it all. And he’s looking at death, and what he sees, changes how he sees the whole rest of his life. And that wisdom, if you can handle it, will change YOUR life too.

And so if you want to bust out your bibles - we are in Ecclesiastes chapter 4. While you’re looking that up, I want to encourage you - we love it when people bring their own bibles. And if you bring it, I’ll make you this promise, we will open it. We believe this book is the word of God, and if we can work together to figure out how to read it - we will learn together how to live the way Jesus teaches us to live. And if this is your first time, don’t worry about it - everyone starts somewhere. I grew up under amazing bible teaching, I have multiple degrees in this stuff and I still don’t know how to pronounce any of the words. We’re not here to judge you for not knowing something, we’re here to help you grow closer to Jesus. 

So Ecclesiastes 4, super cheerful stuff, right there in verse 1. [read v.1-3]. Like I said, cheerful stuff. It’s giving very “hello darkness my old friend” - right? He sees oppression, and it’s awful, and he concludes: it’s better to be dead than alive, because this world is the worst. AND then he says that the REALLY lucky ones are those who haven’t been born yet - because then they don’t even have to SEE how terrible this world is. And I know I’m making jokes about the teacher being a huge buzz kill, but let’s be honest - sometimes, we look at this world and think, “I mean, he’s not wrong.” Like, have you ever had that? Have you ever read a news story and thought, “giving humans free will was a mistake” Come lord Jesus, please - we should not be allowed to be in charge anymore. Just take it away from us. Or even, like, maybe it’s not a big news story. It’s just something dumb you did in your life. Real quick temperature check - how many of us in the room are sinners? [pause]. It happens between oppressors and victims, sure - but it also happens between husbands and wives, parents and their children, co-workers, or even your literal neighbors. You know what I’m talking about, when it’s not “Jesus take the wheel” it’s “Jesus, I.. should probably go sit in the backseat.” I just keep messing it all up. And it’s amazing, as much as it feels like the teacher is overreacting - so many of us have the exact same, incredibly bleak understanding of the world. In all my conversations with people who don’t know Jesus - I have literally never had to convince someone there is evil in the world. Not once. I have sometimes had to convince people that there is still good in this world, good that is worth fighting for. But I’ve never had to convince someone that evil exists. Because on a deeper level, we read the teacher’s words… and we get it.

So the teacher keeps going, [read v.4]. Most people are motivated to success out of ENVY. It’s not that we want what is good, it’s not that we like living a full life of purpose and ambition - nope, we just want to be better than the guy next to us. There’s an old story about a guy named Ralph Woods, who was a corn farmer. He was unhappy about the yield of his crops, but he heard of a highly recommended new seed corn. And so he bought some and produced a crop that was so abundant his astonished neighbors asked him to sell them a portion of the new seed. But the farmer, afraid he would lose a profitable competitive advantage, refused to share the really awesome seed. The second year, the new seed did not produce as good a crop, and when the third year crop was still worse it dawned on the farmer that his prize corn was being pollinated by the inferior grade of corn from his neighbors’ fields. If he had just shared the seed, everyone’s corn would have gotten better and better, but because he kept it for himself - cross pollinating made his crop worse every year. Now, here’s what I’m getting at, if you hate your neighbor, you end up destroying yourself. Selfishness is not just wrong, it’s expensive. It’s costly. The teacher in verse 4 says, [read v.4-5]. If you hate your neighbor, you end up destroying yourself. Envy is a fantastic motivator, but it’s not a godly one. It’s that moment when you have a group project at work, but you take credit for it. You get immediate praise, but then your co-workers don’t trust you anymore. It’s when you win every single fight in your marriage, but the real loser is not your wife - it’s your marriage. You didn’t want to set boundaries with your kids, who cares - let them do what they want, it’s easier that way…and now, you have to bail them out again. The selfish path - it may seem a lot easier, but it’s actually a lot more work. If you hate your neighbor, you end up destroying yourself.

One of the things that’s fun about wisdom literature is that you can often flip it on its head, and it’s still good advice. If you hate your neighbor, you end up destroying yourself. Flip it around - if you LOVE your neighbor, you end up loving yourself. This is what the teacher gets into with verse 9, [read v.9-12]. Two people are better than one, for they can help each other succeed. When your team mate is struggling, and you give up your time to help them run drills and get better - the whole team wins the game. When you sacrifice personal hobbies for your children or grandchildren - the whole family gets stronger. When you sign up for a ministry, not because it’s your favorite area to volunteer in - but because it’s where the church has a need - the whole body of Christ grows healthier. If you love your neighbor, you end up loving yourself. I actually think one of the best examples of this is the staff of this church. I warned them that I was going to brag on them a little bit. Not a single staff person at Center church is here for the money or the fame or the glory - because we don’t offer any of that stuff. We do what we do as leaders and staff of Center because we are sold out for the mission. Because we believe in what we are trying to build in this place. We’re a pretty tight operation here at Center - we’ve got a volunteer admin, Lisa Solomon, who handles the newsletter and attendance, emails, phone calls - all that stuff. Josh, our student pastor, and Katie our worship leader. Now every single one of them has a ministry area that is their own. And if they wanted, they could just worry about themselves. Josh could just do Sunday nights, just hang out with the teenagers - Katie could just do Wednesday nights, just the music. But did you know that Katie volunteers at Youth Group on Sunday nights to help Josh? She’s also a life group leader. That’s not in her job description - she just does that because she’s loving her neighbor. Last week Josh was playing the drums, this week he’s hosting - next week he’s actually going to make his preaching debut here at Center. We support each other’s ministry areas because we really believe that a rising tide lifts all ships. If you love your neighbor, you end up loving yourself. And we’re all tithers. That’s another thing. As a staff we make it a goal to give ten % to the church. We don’t just challenge you, we challenge ourselves. When my paycheck comes in, well I have it set up to be automated - but every time that paycheck comes in, I move the decimal over, 10% - goes to God. And we’re not perfect with it - but we are fully bought into this teaching from Ecclesiastes that two are better than one, for they can help each other succeed. Oh, and I mentioned Katie and Josh - but I didn’t forget Lisa. I defy you to find a ministry in this church Lisa’s not volunteering in. One of our most prolific volunteers - and because she’s a humble woman of God, she would absolutely be mortified that I’m saying all these nice things - which is why I waited until she was on vacation to do it. When you love your neighbor, you end up loving yourself. 

Do you remember when I said that sometimes you can take wisdom literature and flip it on its head? When you love your neighbor, you end up loving yourself - but let me dive a little deeper on that for a second. When you love yourself, that helps you love your neighbor. Earlier in the service, we asked you the question: “list three things you do or say for people you love” - I wonder, what were some of the responses? Call it out. [field some responses, share your own] For me, I’m an acts of service guy. Usually the best way I can think of to show you I love you, is to serve you in some way. I’m also a big complimenter. I think a lot of people in this world are amazing, and I’m very quick to tell them that. You’re awesome. I’m proud of you. I’m so impressed by what you’re doing. But flip it on its head - the things you wrote down - your way of loving people - do you love yourself that way? Jesus’ command is not three words, it’s five words. If you say, “love your neighbor” that is an incomplete sentence. What’s the actual line? [put Matthew 22:39 on the screen]. Love your neighbor AS YOURSELF. It’s the oxygen mask on the airline thing. And I don’t know what you’re thinking right now, but I look at my list and I wouldn’t dare love myself that way. Acts of service? Letting other people serve me? Letting other people help me? Absolutely not. Compliments? Affirmations? Of course not! Because the people around me are actually awesome - I just have everybody fooled. Please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks this way. But into that lie - that god-forsaken lie from the enemy that you are worth less than God says you are, steps a creator who made you. And he loves you. If you love yourself like God loves you, you are better able to love your neighbor. And if you love your neighbor, your life will get better. 

Now there’s one more level to this teaching I want to show you. If you hate your neighbor, you end up destroying yourself. If you love your neighbor, you end up loving yourself - that’s all well and good, but this also works through the generations. If you spend your life lifting yourself up - that’s meaningless. But if you leave a legacy of lifting up others - it floods your life with meaning and purpose. In the next verse the teacher tells a story about a selfish king who is replaced by a wise young man. But then even that wise young man is replaced by the next generation. Verse 15, [read v.15-16]. It’s like those stories in hollywood, where a young actor or music star shines in the spotlight - but the second they stop producing, the second the golden goose stops laying eggs - the industry leaves them in the dust, they just move on to the next big thing. You know, actually, this reminds me of a story we tell in the Zero Collective. 10 years ago, there was a pastor named Brian. And he had taken his church - Frontline Community Church - from around 70 people all the way up to over a thousand people. It was a massive success story of a church. But Brian was burning out. It takes a lot to experience that sort of growth. So he had a sabbatical, which is like a couple months of intentional rest, so he could come back recharged and ready for whatever was next in the church. And he went on that sabbatical and he asked God, “okay, we’ve built this big church - what’s next?” And God gave him a word, not like audible, but he felt convicted in his heart and convinced of one truth, God told him, “In this next season, you are going to be a king-maker, not a king.” And he didn’t know what that meant, but he came back from Sabbatical repeating that over and over. Brian, how was your sabbatical? It was great, I’m going to be a king-maker and not a king! What does that mean? I don’t know, let’s figure it out! And since that sabbatical, Brian shifted his focus away from building his church to building up other churches. We actually were the first church to join the collective - ten years ago. And to be honest, they made a lot of mistakes with us. Initially, they thought if they came in and tried to force this church into their model - we would succeed! Trying to make a little copy of Frontline down here in Byron Center didn’t work. We actually were called “Frontline South” for a little while. Those of you who were here can testify, it was a bit of a mess. We were the guinea pigs, and they learned a lot about what NOT to do. And they own that, they talk about that - they learned from their mistakes, and did a lot better with the next churches. But they hired a new Lead Pastor for Frontline, and Brian handed over the reins, and then Brian started doing what he’s doing now - mentoring, coaching, pouring into the next generation. They brought on Center, and then another church in Wayland called New Life, and another up in Comstock Park called The Story Church. And every church came to the network struggling, and over the years - what became the Zero Collective, poured into them - and now, every single church is experiencing growth and health as an organization. Instead of just focusing on making Frontline as huge as he possibly could, instead of building a giant castle and making himself king - Brian focused on other churches, raising up other leaders, king-MAKER. And on a personal note, I was a pastor 10 years before I got here, and I’ve seen a lot of stuff. I’ve been out there on my own with no support system - and I have to say, this network is the healthiest thing I’ve ever seen. I tell my pastor buddies all the time - find yourself a network that lifts up others as well as the Zero Collective does. Because in your life, if you lift up yourself, that’s meaningless. But if you lift up the next generation, it will flood your life with meaning and purpose. 

You see, the good news that God’s word has for us this week is that your life is not about you. Two weeks ago the good news was that life is a disappointment. Last week the good news was that judgment is coming and today: life is not about you. It’s a cheerful book, but like I’ve said all along - this is the king to unlocking meaning and purpose. This life IS a disappointment, but you were made for more than this life. Judgment IS coming, and that makes how you live important. And this life is NOT about you, it’s about MORE than that. If you live a life that is all about you - your life will be pointless. But if you lift up your neighbor, if you lift up the next generation, your legacy becomes everlasting. And when we do this, we’re not just following the example of some rich dead king from thousands of years ago - we are following the example of Jesus. Over in Philippians it says, [read Philippians 2:5-9]. Jesus lived his life for others. A life lived for other people, instead of for yourself, leads to you being healthier, happier and more content. 

I think an easy way to understand it is to imagine your life is in the palm of your hand. When something good comes into our hands, we’re very tempted to close our hands around it. And the work of faith in our life is to constantly be unclutching, smoothing our fingers back out. Holding our hand open. And you might think, but if I live with an open hand - things fall out more easily. And that’s true - but good things come into it more easily too. But if you clutch, close your fingers - God can’t do anything with that. God can’t pour anything more into that. I’ll give you an example. Last year we had a really awesome student leader named Jack Alkema. Very beloved by the congregation. Recently married, looking for full time work. Now we could have tried to hold him back. Closed our fingers around a valuable staff member. But instead we lifted him up. Trained him, elevated him, prayed for him. Every time he went in for an interview I prayed, not that he would stay, but that God would lead him to the position that would be a blessing for his family. And he found a great full time position, and it was bittersweet, but we as a church were living with our hand open. He left in September. I had dinner with him in December - and he’s doing really well, but do you know what he’s doing? He’s taking all the stuff he learned here, and applying it in his new church. They think he’s a genius, and part of that is what he learned when he was serving in this church. And I’m so proud of him, but I’m also so proud of you! I think some people look at smaller churches as if they were a stepping stone - when the truth is what we have become is not a stepping stone, but a training ground. We lived with an open hand, elevated and poured into the next generation - and God has blessed us for that. Some of you know the end of the story. Jack announced he was leaving, and we posted the job position - 10 hours later Joshua’s application came in, and the program didn’t even have a hiccup - it’s continued to grow and flourish under Josh’s fantastic leadership. If you lift up your neighbor, if you lift up the next generation - your legacy becomes everlasting.

So I want to send you out with a challenge this week, based on the word of God - what is one simple way that you can make your life about someone else this week? Parents, you have an easy answer - because children are one of the greatest ways we can put others first. And, of course, married people have their spouse - so definitely start there. But, parents loving kids and husband’s loving wives - that’s not uniquely Christian, that’s just what everybody does. So I want to push a little harder today. I want you to go beyond the usual boundaries. Love your family, love your spouse - sure, but this week I want you to ask yourself, who else? Because even if you’re single, no kids, or whatever - you can still be pouring into the people around you. Because if we really believe that hating your neighbor ends up destroying ourselves, and loving our neighbor ends up loving ourselves - if we really believe Who are you investing into? Think of a name. Someone who is not family. Start with prayer. Pray for that person every single day. How can you get your life to flow outward instead of inward?

On your seat when you came in this morning, hopefully there was an index card and a pen. If it fell to the floor, maybe you can share with your neighbor. Now we’re going to move into a time of intentional prayer, and we’re going to give you just a few moments to pause and reflect and ask God for a name. Someone you can pour into. Invest into. And what we’d like you to do during the next few moments or even during the final worship set - I’d like you to write a name on that card. Maybe it’s someone you’re going to start praying for every day. Maybe it’s someone you can invite out for coffee, or send them a card or a text checking in on them. Find a way to pour into other people this week. Maybe it’s someone you can invite to our Easter service. But what I want you to do is to write down a name, and bring that card up during the last song. Put it in this bucket here up front - and our staff is going to take those cards and we will join you in praying for the person. We will keep them confidential, but if you’re concerned - don’t put their last name. God knows who we’ll be talking about. Ask God for a name, right down that name - and starting this week, find one simple way that you can make your life about someone else. Let’s pray.