Origin Stories - Ruth 1

I grew up in a home with two working parents. My mother, who ironically is named Ruth, she started her own business before I was born. She was a dentist for a lot of years - running her own practice in a suburb of Detroit called Grosse Pointe, which is where she met my dad. And both of my parents are absolute workaholics - I definitely get it from somewhere. And in our house, work was how you oriented life. You achieved and that’s what gave you value - you set goals, go after it, accomplish, this is how we are as people. It makes my family very useful people to have around. And then I met my wife Sara - she’s my absolute favorite human being on the planet, but we had very different upbringings. Neither one of us had a bad upbringing, but they were different. My family grew up focused on accomplishments, her family focused on relationships. And as our lives became more intertwined I remember asking her, “what are your career goals? What are your dreams?” And I would put those two things together - and I remember she would struggle to figure out what I was talking about - because the dreams she had for her life had nothing to do with her career. And it really came to a head when we had our third child, Ezra. Sara came to me and said, “you know - I think i’d really love to be home with the kids.” Now remember, in my background - my mom worked full time, probably 60 hours a week - she was able to pursue her dreams and those dreams were this business that she had put so much into. And so when Sara brought up the idea of staying home with the kids - I thought I had done something wrong. I literally thought I had somehow smushed her dreams and forced her to stay home with the kids. 

And so my response was to apologize. “I think I want to stay home with the kids.” Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I did not mean to squish you into this role. I have clearly oppressed you and focused too much on my career and I have ignored your ambitions. I can help out more around the house - I’ll go do some dishes or clean up or whatever so you can follow your dreams. And it took a little while for me to understand that staying home with the kids WAS her goal. It was sort of like she was saying, “hey idiot, listen to the words coming out of my mouth instead of trying to fit me into a box that doesn’t match my life.” (She doesn’t talk that way, that’s just my translation). She looks at our five children not as an obstacle to be overcome so she can chase her dreams - but as a fulfillment of those dreams. Turns out - and I know this will come as a shock to a lot of you - but it turns out the most empowering thing you can do for the women in your life is actually listen to them. Did not see that coming. There are those of us who have ambitions - career goals and things we want to accomplish, and that’s not bad, and there are others who have relational goals we want to accomplish - and that’s not bad either. The problem was that I looked into my past to get the categories, the boxes that I was going to squish onto the people in my present, and in my future. 

I mean, we all come from somewhere right? We all have an origin story. Some of us LOVE our past - we had a great upbringing and we want to repeat it. Some of us hate our past - when we think backwards our hearts are full of resentment and we would do anything to make sure the future is different than what we experienced. And then there’s a bunch of us in the middle. We’ve got some bad stuff in our story that we resent, we’ve got some good stuff we want to repeat. Sort of a mixed bag. We all come from somewhere, but the question I want to get into today is - what are we supposed to do with it? We all come from somewhere, sure - but how do we use the past to push us closer to Jesus in the future? And I’ll give you a hint at the top - it’s not going to be resent or repeat, but a secret third thing. For those who don’t know we are in the middle a series called Brick By Brick - and every week we’re looking for emotionally healthy ways to follow Jesus. And every week - these things we talk about, they’re not silver bullets. None of this stuff, by itself is going to solve all of your problems. They’re not silver bullets, they’re bricks. With this series we’re down in the mud, we’re down in the clay, shaping bricks that we’re going to use to build a healthy foundation for following Jesus.

And so we’re going to dive into a well known story today in the book of Ruth, right at the start in chapter 1. And I want to give you a chance to look that up. Ruth is going to be in the Old Testament, so that’s the front half of the bible. If you want a physical bible, and you didn’t bring one, you can grab one off the back wall. Or if you just want to look it up on your phone - there’s some great bible apps out there. Some of them will even read it out loud to you, which is pretty cool. And I want to clarify - today I am using the NIV translation, that’s the New International Version, that’s the same one that’s on the back wall. So right at the beginning, chapter 1, verse 1 it says, [read v.1-2]. So there’s this guy, Elimelek, who lives in Bethlehem with his wife and two boys. But there’s a famine in the land, so they move to the country of Moab. Now Moabites and Israelites do NOT like each other - and that hatred goes back generations - but when there’s a famine, what are you going to do? So they move to Moab, and the boys grow up. They marry Moabite women - one marries a lady named Orpah and another marries a woman named Ruth, and the mom is Naomi. And then, two sentences later - all the men die. Just donezo. First Elimelek, the dad dies, and then both sons. So Naomi has lost her entire immediate family, and the other ladies have each lost a husband. And then, to sort of top it off - the famine in Bethlehem is over. And so this sort of sets the stage for this little conversation.

Then Naomi turns to her two daughters-in-law. Down in verse 8, [read v.8-9]. She looks at her two daughters-in-law and says, “hey, why don’t you go back home? You’re young, maybe you can find another husband.” In this society, women had almost no power, and they would really struggle on their own - and so Naomi is trying to make sure they’ll be okay. She’s like, “I’ve got nothing for you, go on back home.” And Orpah takes her up on it. But Ruth sticks with her, and when Naomi decides to go back home - Ruth goes with her. And when she arrives, in verse 19, it says, [read v.19-20]. Now this is kind of fun - the name Naomi means pleasant. But Mara is the word for “bitter.” And so, it’s probably been years since her old neighbors have seen her, “Is that you Naomi?” And Naomi’s over here putting on black fingernail polish with her little emo haircut - “don’t call me that. Call me bitter.” And her neighbors are like, “I don’t know how to talk to you anymore, Moab changed you, girl.” And I should point out - nobody, in the whole rest of the book, nobody calls her Mara. There’s no dialogue in this whole book, you can read the whole thing in like a half hour - it’s only four chapters long, there’s no moment when someone walks up and says, “Have you seen Mara?” That’s not a thing, because the truth is that this is not about her nametag, is it? No - life has dealt her a rough hand, and she’s bitter about it. Lost her husband, lost her sons - maybe she’s crying out to God, bitter and angry “how could you do this to me?” And hidden in here is some wisdom for us today. Naomi names her wounds honestly. She starts with the raw, honest truth about how she is feeling. 

Let me ask you, have you ever had a thought about God that you feel guilty for? Like you’re mad about a situation or something that happened - and you’re almost mad at God, but then in your head you think, “oh no, I’m probably not supposed to think that!” I’m not allowed to be honest about my bitterness, God will probably be mad at me if I express what I’m actually thinking. And so we do this weird thing where we look at the past dishonestly. We try to pretend that we are not upset about upsetting things. My kid’s doing something I wish he wasn’t - but it’s okay God, I’m not mad at you, it’s your will. OR maybe it’s a health concern - I’ve been dealing with chronic pain or cancer treatment, or recovery from surgery that’s taking way too long - or my mental health, and I’ve been working on it for years and I just don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere. And I’m upset, but I’m not sure if I’m allowed to be upset and so I’ll just slap a happy face on it and grit my teeth. Is this real life? Please say yes. We have convinced ourselves that we are not allowed to be upset with the hand that God has dealt us. And then Naomi walks in and says, “Call me bitter.” 

But she’s not alone! Naming our wounds honestly is a biblical practice. On Sunday nights we have a program called Center Students - it’s middle school and high school kids. And for the last month we’ve been all in the book of Lamentations - which comes from this guy Jeremiah, best known as “the weeping prophet” because he cried about stuff in his life so much. And one of the things we learned, even just a couple of weeks ago, was this thing called Lament. Lament is the honest expression of grief or sorrow. What I’m trying to say is that you are allowed to say that bad days are bad days. You are allowed and even encouraged to look into the past and name your wounds honestly. And if you won’t take my word for it, or Naomi’s word for it, or Jeremiah’s word for it - how about King David? I mean, listen to this. Psalm 13, let’s put that on the screen. And this is just one example. You can flip through the book of Psalms - this is one of the shorter ones, some of them David just goes on and on, listing just exactly how terrible he feels about what he is going through. But did you see what happened in the end? He names his wounds honestly and that leads in the end to him putting the situation in God’s hands and saying, “I trust you.” And it works the other way too. If you believe that you are not allowed to name your wounds honestly, then you can never surrender it to God, and it turns to bitterness in your heart and then you stop trusting God. And that right there? That is a recipe for resentment. Can I admit something to you? This has been my story, a little bit. I struggle with lament, because I feel guilty for complaining, and the result has been that I hold back from surrendering my situation to God, and I hold back from connection to God - and I have trusted God less because of it. But the witness of scripture is that God invites our lament. He has something better than resentment waiting for us. 

And I sort of skipped over it, but I wanted to go back to verse 16. Naomi has these two daughter-in-laws and she tells them, “Go home.” And one of them - Orpah, she stays in Moab, she stays in her home. But Ruth…Ruth refuses to leave Naomi. And if you’ve ever heard this story before, you probably have heard this line - because what Ruth says to Naomi is so powerful, she says in verse 16, [read v.16-18]. Where you go, I will go. Where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people. Ruth shows a beautiful commitment to Naomi - and for her that means she’s getting ready to leave her home. Naomi is returning home to where she used to live, but for Ruth this means a whole new life. Everything familiar is gone. And they set out on this journey, and I’m not going to get into all the details - but basically Ruth goes with Naomi to take care of her. It starts with Ruth picking food from the edges of a field for Naomi, and then she meets this guy Boaz and using the customs of the day he helps them get restored back to community. They call him a “kinsman redeemer” and basically he brings redemption to their home. And what I want you to see with Ruth’s radical dedication is that your past does not have to be your future. Where you come from does not dictate where you are going. You do not have to be trapped in a cycle. There is a way of redemption that is possible.  

I think a lot of us in our lives believe we are doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past. My dad was an alcoholic, so I’m an alcoholic. My mom was abusive, and so I’m abusive. My parents were terrible with money, and so I’m terrible with money. We slip into the lie that our past determines what our future will look like. In fact recently, I’ve been having lots of conversations with new people in this church - which has been such a joy, but so many of them are telling me, “I don’t know any of this stuff.” For some of them - they grew up outside of the church, for others they had a little bit, maybe Sunday school or something - but they left all that behind decades ago. And so they’ll say, “I don’t know about this stuff. I’m not a church person.” And to those people this morning I want to say - just very simply, you being in the room today, that’s how you begin to change your family tree. Your past does not have to be your future - even if you feel trapped, doomed to repeat - the truth is that you can grow your life, your personal life, your family’s life in a new, healthier direction starting right here today. Maybe an old dog can’t learn new tricks, but we’re not dogs - we’re children of God, and we believe that you don’t have to resent the past and you don’t have to repeat it either. 

Now it’s a little odd - because we don’t really do this stuff in the modern world anymore. But back then keeping a family line alive was really important. So Ruth and Boaz get married - and they give their firstborn son to Naomi to raise, so that her family line will not disappear. It’s sort of a family adoption type thing, so the family name doesn’t die off. It’s not as important to us nowadays - but back then, tribal ancestry was a big deal. And so way at the end of the book - chapter 4, verse 16 it says, [read v.16-17]. For those of you keeping score at home - that would be King David, the ancestor of Jesus Christ, the son of God and savior of the world. Ruth is a Moabite woman, from a country hated by the people of Israel - but because of her devotion to Naomi, she ends up being great-grandma to King David. When we look back, we have three choices. We can wallow in resentment and let the past control us, put us in a cage. We can trap ourselves in repetition [repeat], believe the lie that we are doomed to repeat the mistakes of yesterday. Or we can follow the route of Ruth - the route of redemption [redeem], and change our family tree forever.  Dave Ramsey, noted Christian financial guru, says it like this, “You can decide to change your family tree starting right now. It’ll take you some time. It’ll be hard. But I will make you a promise: If you live like no one else now, later you’ll be able to live and give like no one else.” 

The good news that the word of God has for us this morning is that God has a story of redemption for your life. If you would just reach out and take it. As we look into our personal history, there’s a lot of ways the past can control us. But I am here this morning to give you one sentence - Redemption is possible. No matter your past, Jesus can be your future. And I know what you might be thinking, “Not my family” - there’s no fixing that level of fail. Well here - let’s do a little exercise. I want you, if you can, look up Matthew, chapter 1, verse 1. The very beginning of the New Testament. This is the part of the bible when Jesus shows up. And the first book in the entire new testament starts with a genealogy of Jesus. It’s just a list of all his ancestors. They didn’t have ancestry.com back then, so they just kept track of names through the years. And what I want you to do is just follow me through the ancestors of Jesus for a minute, just put your finger on them as we walk through the generations. [read v1-2]. Jacob, the guy who had 12 sons who became the 12 tribes of Israel. Also famous for STEALING his inheritance from his brother by tricking his elderly, blind father into giving it to him instead. [read v.3a] Judah - son of the woman Jacob didn’t really want to marry (he wanted to marry her sister). [v.3b] Oof - I’m guessing most of you don’t know the story of Tamar and Perez - it’s pretty messy. Tamar is best known for the time she disguised herself as a prostitute so she could have sex with her dead husband’s father to get pregnant with her son. I think I speak for all of us when I say - ew. A soap opera couldn’t come up with a family history this messed up! Skipping down to verse 5, [read v.5]. Rahab, most famously known as Rahab the prostitute - that’s Boaz’s mom. Of course, Ruth (the moabite - who were considered horrible people), and then we get down to David and Bathsheba. Bathsheba best known for the part where David takes her, gets her pregnant, and then tries to cover it up resulting in him ordering the murder of her husband. Now I’m not going to go through every single generation - but I hope you’re catching the theme. The brokenness of the past cannot overcome the power of Jesus’ redemption. Even in the line of Jesus - his family tree is full of horrifying sin - but through it all, redemption was possible. Jesus came from a long line of messed up people, sinful situations and every step of the way - God never gave up on his people. His plan never changed, and he was faithful to fulfill his promises. I heard someone say, the family Jesus came FROM shows us the family Jesus came FOR. So if you have a mess in your family tree, or even just in your personal story - if you have a past that you believe locks you in a cage. Here these words: No matter your past, Jesus can be your future.

See, here’s the thing about redemption. We dig into the past not to resent, not even to repeat it - we bring our life to Jesus and he REDEEMS it. CS Lewis has this quote where he says, “heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory.” There’s this idea that some people say, “heaven is going to be so great, it will make up for all the bad. The good is so good it will make the bad worth it.” But that’s not what redemption is. We’re not covering up bad with good - we are TRANSFORMING bad into good. The work of Jesus in your life is so much more than covering up a wound with a band-aid, Jesus is bringing HEALING to the wound. Your past is not just about resenting or repeating or covering up or forgetting - we bring our past to him, surrender it to him, and he will bring healing into our lives.

And so I have two challenges for you today, the first is really simple. I want you to look into your past, like Naomi did, and name your wounds honestly. We do that so that you can surrender them to Jesus, and step into a life of redemption. Think about it like this - every time you go to a doctor’s office, they make you fill out forms, right? You fill it out online, and then you have to get there 20 minutes early, so they can hand you the exact same form for you to fill out with pen and paper. But a lot of times they want your family history. They dig into your past, to see how it plays out in your present so you can grow into a healthier future. One way to do this is using a family genogram. If you’ve never done one before, we have a picture for you. And you can actually find a blank one to fill out at the website there - we have a QR code or you can just go to zerocollective.org/brickbybrick. Now, I’ll warn you - it can take some time, and you might dig up some stuff that’s been buried for a good long while. But if you want to grow your family tree in a new, healthier direction - this is a really great place to start. 

My second challenges comes right after the first - once you have done the digging into where you come from. The things in your life and your ancestor’s life that have made you who you are - the second challenge is to make a decision: What are you going to do with your past? You can resent it, you can repeat it, OR you can redeem it. Surrender it all to Jesus, and let him transform pain into glory, evil into good. And this gets into every area of your life - your marriage, your children, your relationship with work, your co-workers, how you deal with money, how you approach God. Dig into your past - and whatever you find, surrender that to Jesus so that he can redeem it.

Here’s a quick example from my family. I’m not sure how much I’ve talked about this before - I come from a long line of very impressive church leaders. My great grandparents were missionaries from Germany to China. My oma was actually born in the mission field. She grew up to be an internationally renowned china painter - priceless antiques covered in flowers and gold filigree. She married my Gramps - who did 25 years in pastoral ministry before turning to the mission field. He founded a seminary in Haiti called Emmaus University on the north end of the island. I got to visit it when I was 12. When he died some of his students flew up from Haiti for his service. He wrote a bunch of books that I found on the shelves in the library when I was in seminary. But he refused to take any money for them - every book was stamped with “This book is intended to be used for the furtherance of the gospel of Christ. It is not for sale or resale.” I’ve already told you about my mom, who sold her dental practice and went on to start a consulting practice helping small business owners sell their practices when they want to retire. And then there’s my dad, the Rev. Dr. Mannschreck - 40 years in the ministry, where every single church he has served has grown and thrived while he was their pastor. And I love every single one of them. They didn’t do anything wrong, my family has always so incredibly supportive and kind - but it created something inside me, a drive where no matter how much I do, no matter how good I become at something in ministry - it’s not enough. Compliments slide off of me like oil on water - because even when I’m good, they probably would have done it better. Will I ever be as kind as my dad, as clever as mom, as sacrificial as my gramps, or create something as beautiful as my oma? And I tell you all of this to say that even the good things that you want to repeat need redemption. We spent a lot of time talking about Naomi’s mess and Jesus’ mess - but everything in our past needs to be surrendered to Jesus. That’s why, as a father, I’m fairly desperate to make sure my children know, “I love you regardless of performance.” I don’t want to resent the past. I don’t even want to repeat it - I want Jesus to redeem it. So take some time this week, dig into your past - ask God to show you the pieces of your life that you need to surrender. Where do you need redemption in your life? Let’s pray.