Overcommitted To Everything But Home

Well good morning everybody - as I said before my name is Pastor JJ and if I haven’t had a chance to meet you yet, I hope I get that chance soon. And boy, wasn’t that just wonderful worship this morning? I love playing with that team, and I’ll tell you - worship music is like one of my love languages. Not everybody loves music, but for me - it really leaves me feeling refreshed. It really fills my cup. A lot of times I come away from a time of worship, we’ll finish up on a Sunday - and I’m just so chaulk full of energy. And I’m a big extrovert - meeting new people fills me with joy. I have lots of friends, wonderful people, but social situations - they can do it, but then they need to recharge. It can be exhausting - but not me. I get done hanging out with new people, and I want to do it more. So Sunday mornings, worshipping with brothers and sisters in Christ - it’s like the gas needle is past the full bar. I am pumped. I am full. I am refreshed and ready for a week. Worship fills my soul, and my cup is full. [pour water into a cup]. But then Monday morning hits. Right? But then I take a look at my finances - and oh boy, I don’t know if you guys know, but life is SUPER expensive right now. Whew (take a sip). And of course, living in an expensive world gives me a lot of stress. And that takes a toll on my mental health, and when I’m stressed, I don’t work out as much and that takes a toll on my physical health (take another sip). And if I’m stressed, and my mental health isn’t doing so hot and I’m not taking care of myself physically, well then I’m not going to be able to be a very good husband, and my marriage starts to struggle. (take another sip) And if my marriage starts to struggle, then I’m going to be distracted and I’m not going to be able to do a very good job at work, and my boss is going to notice. (take another sip). And then I open up literally any app on my phone and see the news of what’s going on in our world (down the rest of the glass). And then the pastor gets up in front of the church and talks about how important it is to pour into our children. (put the little cups out) To pour into our neighbor - to let God’s love pour out from us into the people around us. (take the empty cup and try to drip dribbles into the little cups) and we just have nothing left to give. Is this real life, please say yes. (yes)

Today we are continuing our series called overcommitted. We’re almost done - last week is the last part, but all through this series we have been poking at all the different things in our life that drain us. And what we’ve seen is that a lot of them are very good things - but there’s an imbalance. And the good things in our life are threatening to overwhelm us and pull us apart. But into that chaos, there is an incredible message of abiding. Christians learn how to attach themselves to God in a way so that we can order our lives so that God things come before good things - and both are healthier because of it. So today we are going to tell the story of Eli and Hannah, and we’re going to see what happens when you are overcommitted to everything but home.

If you want to grab your bibles, we’re going to open up to 1 Samuel chapter 2, which is way back in the Old Testament - which is found more towards the front of your bible. I always encourage people to bring their bible, and if you like the feeling of a book in your hand - we’ve got extras on the back wall. OR, it’s always handy to look it up on your phone. The nice thing about using your phone is that you can switch translations really easy. The bibles on the back wall are called the NIV translation, which is a really great translation. But for this sermon series I decided to use the NLT translation, the new living translation. So if you want the words to line up exactly - you can toggle it on your phone to NLT. But 1 Samuel, chapter 2 starts out with verse 12, [read v.12-14). Now, if you just so happened to NOT grow up in ancient Israel during the time of the judges - this probably needs a little explanation. A long time ago, the people of Israel were divided into twelve tribes. It traces back to one family - you might remember Jacob, and he had twelve sons. Twelve tribes of Israel, and at one point God said, “this tribe over here, the descendants of Levi, they’re going to be the priests.” They were the people who ran the temple, organized the sacrifices, all that stuff. And at this time, your job was just “what your dad did” - right? There was very little movement in society - there was no, “I get to college and I pick my major and I dream about what I want to do.” None of that - if your dad was a soldier, you were a soldier. If your dad was a blacksmith, you were a blacksmith. If your dad was a priest, by golly - you were going to be a priest. And Eli is a very important priest. This guy was great! He was a wonderful man of God. But his kids? Not so much. I wonder if people outside of church circles know this, but there’s actually a pretty strong stereotype about pastor’s kids. We’re either super straight-laced goody-two shoes, usually going into the family business, becoming pastors or marrying people who become pastors - OR, we’re the son of a preacher man. We go HARD the other way. Eli’s sons go HARD the other way. Like, you and I read this and there’s something about sticking a fork into a pot pulling out raw meat - and none of that really translates to us, it doesn’t make much sense because we don’t have a sacrificial system in the same way. But if I can put it in perspective - there’s a giving bucket in the back for people who don’t give online, it would be a little bit like if my children were to steal that bucket, where gifts were meant to be used for the house of God, and they take the money and during service they walk down to Family Fare and buy candy for themselves. Verse 17 caps it off where it says, [read v.17]. And I want to highlight that word “contempt” it’s the same word in most translations - because it’s such a strong word. In Hebrew that word is “naisu” and it’s a very strong term. To do this is not just careless, it’s not just boys messing around - it’s seen as aggressively hateful. It’s a terrible thing that they are doing. And we find out down in verse 22 that they were also seducing women in the temple, and so we see that there’s sexual abuse happening as well. And it’s really, really horrifying what Eli’s sons are up to.

And so what we see with all of this - this is so important, what we see is that Faith is not a genetic trait. The habits of faith must be taught, they are not inherent. Eli was a great priest, he was a good guy - his kids, were NOT. In our lives, Families don’t drift towards spiritual health automatically. Families are a lot like gardens. Gardens don’t drift naturally towards fruitful production. You have to cultivate it, pull out the weeds, prune the dead branches, add fertilizer, water and sunlight. A garden has to be tended, and so does your soul. Faith is not genetically passed down. Your children are not just going to pick it up through osmosis, you have to be intentional. What we allow at home, will eventually have consequences outside the home. Think about it this way - parents, we care about what our children eat. We want them to be physically healthy and so we give them food and exercise to achieve that goal. We also care about what our children learn - we want them to be smart and able to achieve out in the world on their own, and so we get them to school, and we sign them up for tutors and we put them in AP prep and go on college visits. But what about their soul? What about their character? Do they know Jesus? Do they know how to live following him? The world is full of smart healthy people who are out there trying so hard to achieve. But without character and spiritual formation - it’s all just nothing. The amount of people, even in our town, right in our backyard, the amount of people who are wealthy and healthy and miserable should set off all kinds of alarm bells for us. The world is offering a very shiny, very useless life full of spiritual loneliness - but Jesus has something better. Eli’s sons were the worst, and they show us that this stuff doesn’t just happen - we have to be intentional, to tend the garden of our soul so healthy things can grow in our life. 

Meanwhile, Eli’s sons are over there being gross, but meanwhile - there’s a young woman named Hannah. And back in chapter 1, we have this heartbreaking story. And i’m not going to get into all the details, but she’s married with no babies. And she really, really wants to have kids. Other moms are making fun of her, which - not cool. And she’s so depressed that she’s not eating, and her husband tries to comfort her, which doesn’t work - at all. I mean, just listen to this line, in chapter 1, verse 8, [read v.8]. Husbands (hold out the bible with one hand) - little pastoral advice…. Don’t do that. (pause). So Hannah comes to the temple, and she’s heartbroken about all this, and it says in verse 10. [read v.10-18]. Now I’m going to connect some dots for you - she becomes pregnant and has a kid and that kid, who she dedicates to God, who she raises to know God and actually lets him live in the temple to learn everything. That’s Samuel - who becomes one of the greatest men of God in Israel’s history. This is the guy who anoints King David, and his story starts with a mom who was dedicated to making sure her son knew about God.

Now there’s two big things I want you to pull from this. Number 1 - your child’s first and greatest disciplemaker is YOU. If you make Jesus a priority, your children will see that. If you take time to pray and get into the word of God everyday - your children will see that. But if you push church life and spiritual disciplines to the backburner when life gets busy or hard - your children will see that. In a lot of ways it’s not about what you say is important with your mouth, it’s about the life you live that your children watch. When Hannah was struggling, she went to the temple, knelt down in a puddle of her own tears and cried out to God. It’s no wonder Samuel learned to turn to God when HE was going through hard things. The second thing I want you to realize is that this is not just about parents. Samuel had other people speak into his life other than just his mom. Parents are the greatest disciplemakers for their children, it starts in the home. But Hannah brought Samuel to the temple to learn. And what we see in that is discipleship is not about one good example, it is a network of relationships. So if you’re sitting there this morning thinking, “i don’t have kids, or my kids are already grown up - this doesn’t apply to me” - hear me, the children of the church need you to be speaking into their lives just as much. 

I’ll use myself as an example. My dad is an awesome pastor, and an extremely good human being. But when I was a teenager I didn’t see it. My dad’s not cool. Dads aren’t cool. I remember he chaperoned our 8th grade trip to Mackinaw Island, and after that trip my friends came up to me and told me, “Dude, your dad is so cool.” And I said, “No he’s not! What are you talking about?” And I went home and I told him, “Dad, did you know you’re cool? That can’t be right.” Because even though my dad was a great pastor, and my dad is a great dad - there was something in my teenage brain that had to rebel. I had to disagree and push my parents away. My father did not lead me to know Jesus Christ. It was other adult leaders - youth leaders and older adults in the church who helped me know and see what it meant to follow Jesus. We actually had a bunch of people in the church who were older. There was one guy, his wife died young, he never remarried and he never had children - but he came over every Christmas and ate with our family and he was a part of that network of Christian adults. There was another guy who volunteered with the youth - we called him “Uncle Greg” because apparently one of the kid’s was his actual nephew, and he called him Uncle Greg, so we all called him Uncle Greg. When we see that faith is not genetic - it has to be taught, it has to be shaped and formed in a person’s life. And we see that a parent is the most powerful disciplemaker - but right behind that, creating that network of Christian adults is you. 

That’s one of the reasons I’m so excited to be a part of this church. Right now my kids are all little and adorable, and teaching them bible lessons is easy enough. They still like me. But they’re going to get bigger, and some day they’re not going to listen to dad, for no better reason than just “he’s dad.” And when that time hits, I want them to be surrounded by a network of Christians, a family of God who know how to love Jesus and will help guide them as they grow. And I look at this church, at all of you (and I hope you know this is the highest compliment I can give you) - and I am honored and eager for my children to grow up in your midst. This is what Hannah teaches us.

And we jump back in, chapter 2, verse 21 [read v.21-25b]. So after we get that little ray of sunshine in Hannah’s story, we’re back to talking about Eli’s sons. And Eli is finally speaking up - but his sons shrug him off. It seems like his efforts at discipleship are sort of too little, too late. Now before we go on - I want to pause and ask, and I’m not going to ask you to raise your hand, because I know some of the stories in this room - but parents who have older children, can you identify with Eli? How many of us have prodigal sons or daughters in our lives? Or maybe it’s not your child, but it’s a neighbor, or a brother or a co-worker? Someone in your life who you feel responsible for, someone you poured into - and it wasn’t enough, and they’re living far away from God, doing things they know they shouldn’t be doing and you feel like you have failed to be the disciplemaker you should have been. Do you see echoes of Eli’s story in your life today? Eli begs his sons and they shrug him off. 

Eli feels like a failure. He literally says, look - if you hurt someone, that’s bad. But you can go to that person, work it out. But Eli’s sons aren’t just hurting people, they’re hurting the temple, the church of that time, right? They’re hurting God. Eli says in verse 25 says, [read v.25]. If someone sins against the Lord, who can intercede? And Eli ends it in this sort of hopeless place. His sons refuse to listen to him, and he’s at a loss for what to do. Does that feel familiar? Have you ever had a family relationship or a friendship - and it’s like you’re watching them destroy their own life? It’s like their life is a big giant aquarium, and you’re banging on the glass trying to get their attention - but some people are just determined to learn everything the hard way. I have some dear friends who are good Christian people - they love Jesus, try to live their lives following him, but they were rebellious in their younger years. And now decades later, they watch their kids, who were about my age, making the same dumb mistakes they did. And it felt like no matter what they said to warn them, they just couldn’t get them to listen. Does Eli’s story feel familiar?

And this is an old testament story, so this is before Jesus - and so they die! The sons live terrible lives, who can intercede for them? And then they die two chapters later. Eli’s situation was truly hopeless. But and this is the part I wanted to show you - thousands of years later, a man would write a letter that we call the book of Hebrews, to tell people about Jesus and he would write in chapter 7 verse 23, check this out - let’s put it on the screen: [read v.23-27]. Eli couldn’t save his sons, and you can’t save the people in your life from their mistakes. But Jesus can. Jesus is the new and better priest. It says he lives forever to intercede with God on your behalf. You guys familiar with the word “intercede” right? It’s like when you get between two things that are about to collide. Jesus gets between God and our sin. Because of Jesus - because he died on the cross for your sins, as long as there is breath in your lungs it is not too late to come to Jesus. To receive his grace, to be forgiven, to be washed clean. And if you’re feeling convicted, like Eli’s sons never were - I want you to come talk to me. We have cards in the back, you can fill one of those out, scan the QR code - we’d love to talk to you about what comes next. Eli’s story ends in tragedy, but because of Jesus - your story, the people in your life? Doesn’t have to. 

The good news I want you to grab onto this morning is that God’s love is meant to overflow. When we abide with Jesus, that radiates outwards into the people around us. They can tell something is different in our world, when we surrender our life to Jesus Christ. But what we see here is that if we are overcommitted to everything else, then there will be nothing left but dripples to pour into our children and the people around us. But here’s the best part. Our job (pour water into your cup) is not to be the savior. Eli tried and he couldn’t do it. Our job is not to fill other people up. (pretend to pour your cup into other cups). That will exhaust you and empty you every time. No, no - your job is not to save people, your job is to point people to the one who can. (Pour from the pitcher into your cup while pouring into the little cup). And what you’ll find is that we cannot save our children, but we can keep them close to the one who can. (pour directly from the pitcher into the smaller cups.)

Eli’s story inspires me, it makes me want to be a better disciplemaker for my children. And I hope you feel that too - so let me send you out with a couple of practical challenges. First, I want you to ask yourself the legacy question. Think about your life, your past - What did your parents do with the topic of faith? How did they teach you (or NOT teach you) about Jesus? Think about what examples you had in your life - and then ask yourself, “Do you want to repeat or reform what you saw growing up?” Children are great imitators. So give them something great to imitate. Barna says that 61% of christian parents say they rarely or never discuss spiritual matters. Only 10% of families read the bible together every week. Even for pastors - 70% of pastors admit their family life suffers due to ministry demands. If you think you’re bad at this stuff - you’re in great company, MOST people think they are bad at teaching their kids about Jesus. BUT, there’s hope - listen to this, 88% of youth say they value faith when parents model it consistently. If your kid sees you loving Jesus, they will value their own faith more. Another great resource I want to recommend is the book “habits of the household” by Justin Whitmel Earley. I’ve recommended it before, but seriously - it’s that good. In his house he has four young boys - so that’s sort of how he frames it, but it’s full of practical advice and examples for all walks of life. 

And the last thing I want to say on this is - I have a theory that there is a reason so many of us are so bad at overflowing our cup into the people around us. For a lot of us, we feel like frauds. We don’t feel qualified to help others abide in Jesus - because we’re not that good at abiding in Jesus in our OWN life. But if I can just come alongside you for a moment - spiritual disciplines, like talking to God in prayer, or reading your bible so you’re actually getting something out of it, and it’s not just a book report - that kind of stuff takes practice. It’s okay to be bad at it in the beginning - that’s normal. You’re not a fraud - you’re trying. You’re learning. You’re growing. Think about Eli and Hannah. Eli was this high priest of Israel - he knew all the stuff, and that wasn’t enough for his sons. But Hannah? All she knew how to do was cry out to God when she was feeling sad. To show up and bring her kid to the temple. And she raised one of the forefathers of our faith. Think about that statistic I gave you just a second ago - can we put that on the screen?  88% of youth say they value faith when parents model it consistently. Do you know what it doesn’t say there? 88% of youth say they value faith when their parents always have the answers. It doesn’t say 88% - when their parents always do it right and never make mistakes. What does it say? When they model it consistently. Even if you have never opened a bible at home with your family, even if you have never prayed with your children before - try. Screw up. Come get advice from a church leader. And then try again. Because here’s the beautiful secret of discipling someone else - when you are helping someone else practice it, you are getting better at it too. Let’s pray.